Blah Blah Blah - Listen to me talk

Go About Your Business, It's Only Terrorists

2004-05-26T14:09:00.000-04:00

Ridge Acknowledges Terror Threats, but 'Nothing Specific'
By KIRK SEMPLE

Published: May 26, 2004

(NY Times) Tom Ridge, the secretary of Homeland Security, confirmed today that officials have intercepted new communication suggesting a possible terror attack in the United States, but he said the government did not plan to raise the nation's terror alert level, currently at the midpoint of a five-level scale.

"There is absolutely nothing specific enough" that warrants a change in the alert level, he said on NBC's "Today."

In interviews on several morning shows, Mr. Ridge appeared to be seeking to diminish the alarm caused by a report from The Associated Press on Tuesday that officials had information about a specific threat this summer.

The news agency reported that the government had new intelligence indicating that a group of terrorists already deployed inside the United States was preparing to launch a major attack in the next few months. The intelligence did not include a time, place or method of attack, The A.P. reported, quoting an unnamed senior counterterrorism official.
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Transcript from said morning show:

Clown-Faced Media Princess: There are news reports that terrorists are inside the US and planning an attack sometime this summer, how is the US responding to that.

Ridge: Well, they haven’t given us a specific time, place and location for us to thwart these plans, so there really isn’t anything the government to do at this time.

Media Princess: So the US government is off the hook, because the terrorists haven’t invited them, but that’s the excuse we gave for 9/11.

Ridge: Precisely.

MP: What?

Ridge: So you agree then, that 9/11 wasn’t our fault. It was the terrorists fault and that’s why Iraq is getting there’s.

MP: I’m not saying it was anybody’s fault, I just want to know what the US is doing at this time. Apparently, these terrorists are INSIDE the US NOW.

Ridge: Which, should make them much easier to catch than say catching a terrorist in a foreign country, like Afghanistan or Pakistan, so we should be okay. Now we can just wire-tap and search anybody’s house at the drop of a hat, so we’ll find these guys. Just look at that lawyer from Oregon who was behind the bombings in Spain.

MP: But, he was released after being held for two weeks with no formal charges and no representation, no rights no nothing.

Ridge: Now you’re just being unpatriotic, besides we apologized. What more do you want? Should we send him cake?

MP: What are the FBI, CIA and other investigative branches telling you.

Ridge: Is the who doing what? Ohhh, right those guys. No see, the Dept. Homeland Security is handling this, this deals with homeland security. Why would we talk to them?

MP: Do you remember 9/11?

Ridge: Not our fault remember, no formal invitations sent to the White House.

MP: Is there an investigative branch of the Dept. of Homeland Security.

Ridge: Yes, The Information Analysis and Infrastructure Protection directorate will be established to analyze intelligence and information from other agencies (including the CIA, FBI, DIA and NSA) involving threats to homeland security and evaluate vulnerabilities in the nation's infrastructure.

MP: When you say, “will be”, do you mean that the new organization has not yet been established?

Ridge: Kind of sorta, yes.

MP: What have you been doing for 3 years?

Ridge: Fighting Terrorism!

MP: So then there currently is no investigative branch of the Dept of Homeland Security and the CIA and other agencies do not report to you.

Ridge: Technically speaking, that is, currently there is not any formal investigative branch per se, correct.

MP: Thank you, Mr. Ridge

Ridge: Thank you, and god bless.

New Plan for Abu-Ghraib

2004-05-24T22:56:00.000-04:00

From the President's speech

A new Iraq will also need a humane, well-supervised prison system. Under the dictator prisons like (pause) Abu Ghraib were symbols of death and torture. That same prison became a symbol of disgraceful conduct (i.e. death and torture) by a few American troops who dishonored our country and disregarded our values

Even Bush took pause at the name "Abu-Ghraib", as if to say, "Holy shit, we put those two sentences together."

Announcement of New Prison Recieved with Cheers by Iraqi People

The United States will demolish Iraq's notorious Abu Ghraib prison in consultation with the incoming government as a way of symbolizing the country's new start, the White House said on Monday.

The announcement was recieved with "joyous revelry" by the Iraqi people.

Ghazi Muklif Hamdan, a 31 year old merchant exclaimed, "Hooray, that evil evil building will finally be gone. For all the torture and humiliation we have endured we only have that buidling to blame, and finally it will be gone. God bless America"

Similar responses were heard everywhere throughoutt the streets of Bagdad.

Sadim Samir, 23, a political science student at the University of Baghdad exclaimed, "I am looking for the day when I am detained in the new western-style prison for no apparent reason by the US occupying force. I very much want to lift weights, play dominoes and stick somebody with a shiv."

The new prison will be built by Pro-Max, (a divsion of Haliburton), a leading developer of maximum security prisons in the US for a mere sum of $350 million.

Stockpile of WMD's Found

2004-05-18T21:54:00.000-04:00

In a discovery that unequivocally proves Iraq had WMD's, U.S. soldiers found a roadside bomb containing sarin nerve agent in Baghdad, the military said Monday. The device, which partially detonated, was apparently a leftover from Saddam Hussein's arsenals.

Many supporters of the Bush administration believe this turn of events finally justify the US and British governments' argument (initial argument anyway) for invading Iraq, just ask Rush.

Third lieutenant and munitions expert James Caldwell of the 4th Infantry division explained to a reporter the potential dangers the stockpile of 1 shell containing sarin gas posed.

"This shell when detonated could easily throw 10 maybe 20 little green plastic army men 30-50 feet in the air leaving them severely disfigured", said Caldwell. "As for the sarin gas, it could easily wilt a houseplant within 2 or 3 days."

Alongside the stockpile of the one shell, were found several M80's, a can of hairspray, PVC tubing, a sack of potatoes, a sling shot and a pellet rifle, (commonly referred to as a BB gun by military personnel).

The stockpile was found as a group of Iraqi teenagers were trying to denote the shell with a hammer near the train tracks.

Speaking on behalf of the Whitehouse, assistant secretary of defense Paul Wolfiwitz said, "See, not only is Saddam a very very very bad man, but he also did have WMD's just like we promised."

Bush Renominates Worn Greenspan as Chief Financial Interest Raising & Lowering Czar

2004-05-18T21:10:00.000-04:00

President Bush, sticking to a pledge he made more than a year ago, renominated Alan Greenspan today as chairman of the Federal Reserve.

"Alan Greenspan has done a superb job as chairman of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System," Mr. Bush said in a statement, "you know with all the raising and lowering of interests rates and the like."

Commenting on Greenspan's nomination, David Resler, chief economist at Nomura Securities International cited, "Mr. Greenspand has been duly rewarded again for his fine job. Without him there would be no one else to lower interests when the economy is bad, raise interests when the economy improves and make general non-actionable statements about the overall performance of the economy that send the economy in a tizzy for no apparent reason."

The announcement was met with no objections from the members of the Republican member of the Senate Committee on Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs, except Jim Bunning citing Greenspan's propensity to "get behind in the count by swinging at every goddamned pitch".

But, there have been those in the financial community questioning the Authority the Greenspan wields over the US economy from his chair in an unelected government position. Many citing concerns with the volatile reaction of the stock market to his quarterly economic outlook have been clamoring for the office to become at the very least a cabinet level position.

Oliver Robertson, Executive securities Analyst for the SEC voiced some these concerns in a recent article in Newsweek.

However vague and ambiguous the prediction [on the US economy] it is certain to create a wave in the stock market. For Christ's sake, I lost $250K last year, because he wore the tortoise shell glasses instead of the horn-rimmed glasses. Then I lost another 300K the year before, because he was missing a cufflink.

But, by and large, most politicians and members of the financial community praised Mr. Greenspan's Fed for greater transparency in its conduct of monetary policy. That new openness is perhaps best seen in statements issued after meetings of the Fed's policy-making Open Market Committee.

"He has raised and lowered interest rates like no other with such conviction and decisiveness," Mr. Resler said. "Besides, I don't think anyone else has ever held the position. He's been in office since I was a little boy, and quite frankly we're not sure exactly what he does. Also, he's been holding the dies for printing 50's and 100's for the last 20 years as ransome. Besides, he's old and will likely die soon."

I Have a Bad Temper

2004-05-13T23:33:00.000-04:00

I get really mad when I drive, and I do stupid things like pass people in the median or pass them going 90 and rip up my emergency brake spinning towards them out of control. My counselor says I need to calm down, so lately, I've taken to thowing change at people's cars when they piss me off. It's much less aggressive, but it is also much less sastisfying. You know deep down I feel kind of shameful and cowardly afterward, I think that's why I need to write this post.

But, what's really been making me angry in the morning when I drive is listening to Quin in the Morning. You would not believe how incredibly stupid that show is, but I still let him make me so angry. Please go to the link and click around. If you aren't dumbfounded by this guy, I'll send you a dollar. He is a maligning hate mongerer who distorts the truth to propoagate an extremely conservative agenda. This is the big problem I have with guys like this, Rush Limbaugh, O'Reily . . I appreciate a good debate on the issues and there are lot of conservatives I enjoy, but this intentional deception by the popular talking heads on the right. You'll never see any of the news stories he uncovers bubble up to the major networks. It's not becuase of the liberal media either, it's becuase this guy is a nut. If you check out more liberal sites like DailyKos, Talkingpointsmemo, WashingtonMonthly and WhiskeyBar you'll see that the stories they discuss usually bubble up to the major papers and networks.

But, the dishonesty isn't what bothers me so much. It's the fucking cheesy jokes guys like Quinn tell. They are so smug and really pander to the audience, think "ditto-heads". The jokes are so self-congratulatory and you can see them coming a mile down the pike. They always play these stupid clips like, "13 reasons why a handgun is better than a woman." and the "the Dean Scream". Who thinks this corny shit is so funny, idiots and people who forward jokes on the internet, thats who. They pretend to be above the fray by avoiding jokes about blow jobs and murdering hookers, but then they'll blast gays on the radio.

This is my new basic philosophy, that a sense of humor is what separates liberal and conservative talk show. Sure, Al Franken is an asshole sometimes, but at least he is funny and doesn't dumb his stuff down. In my book (I don't really have a book per se) you can talk about beating up queers and murdering Iraqi's as long as you do it in a good comedic way.

I think we should all ban together and stop the corny right.

Bush: Approval Ratings Hit All-Time Low - Calls Kerry a Bitch

2004-05-11T22:33:00.000-04:00

Despitesagging approval ratings, which have reached an all-time low for Bush, he is still leading the Democratic hopeful, Kerry, in most polls. Even more troubling are that the polls show Bush leads Kerry in many of the swing states where this election is likely to be decided.

In a recent interview with Fox News, when asked how the Bush, when asked how the Bush campaign plans to address the recent slump in the polls senior political advisor, Karl Rove, responded that, "This is a difficult time in the war, and we shouldn't let the actions of a few misguided souls steer us off course of the larger objective, that is to provide a stable democracy to the Iraqi people, even though they are terrible infidels." Bush's approval rating shot up 1.5 pts within hours.

When asked the same question by NPR, Rove responded much differently. "Here's what we plan to do, nothing. President Bush could shit on a picture of the Virgin Mary, and he could still win. Who are people going to vote for, that little bitch, Kerry? You can print that, just no in the enquirer."

Republican pollster Bill McInturff says the poll and his own research suggest Kerry is experiencing "some cumulative impact" of Bush ads that depict him as "inconsistent on the issues". Plus, "he's a miserable little bitch".

Indeed, it is beginning to look dire for the Kerry campaing. There are even rumors of grumbing within the inner Kerry circle questioning his current strategey.

Alfred J. Profrock, political analyst and Harvard professor of the Kennedy School of government recently cited "poor direction, lack of a coherent message and lack of any fucking message or consistent strategy."

More recently there have been requests among top democrats to replace Kerry on the democratic ticket with Dukakis. To that Kerry renamed his campaign bus for the 5th time this week.

Liquor, In General, Isn't the Answer

2004-05-05T02:21:00.000-04:00

I know Tequilla gets a bad wrap, and I think it might be unfairly deserved. Tequila is put in the same category as Denny's: You never begin the night expecting to go there, but somehow if your still up at 4 in the morning, you end up there. Perhaps, one leads to the other, I'm not sure.

But, I tried another liquor. If you view my previous post, you'll see that I tried to resolve an upset stomach with Tequila. Well Jack Daniels doesn't work either.

So, I think from all of this I've learned a couple of things:
1. Don't turn to liquor to answer your problems.
2. If you have diarrhea, don't shower after the 1st round. Inevitablly, you'll have to take another shower or wear shitty underwear.

I'm going to bed to wallow in my own filth.

Tequila Isn't the Answer

2004-05-05T02:13:00.000-04:00

I think generally speaking this isn't the right answer to most of life's problems, unless someone asks you, "What is the alcohol made from the agave cactus?" See, not only do I write, but I read too. Admittedly, I read mostly labels onthe back of food products and bathroom products in particular (I spend a lot time in there). Tequila is also hecho en Mexico.

But, back to my problem, a really upset stomach. Tequila wasn't the answer. Mental note to self.

I'm not sure if it is the liquor approach in general or more specificlaly tequilla. I think I'll try another liquor and report back.

What the say about fiber is true

2004-05-05T01:50:00.000-04:00

I think I know why baby's shit so much, burp and spit up. It isn't becuase they're babies, it's what we feed them. I ate a huge salad, some fruit and a big glass of crangrape juice. Ohh my Lord, Christ and Sonny Jesus, I'm intolerable right now (just as my blog advertises). I just got done with a round on the can, and now I need a shower. i pray I don't have to go the can again, becuase that will mean another shower.

I hear liquor helps settle your stomach, maybe I'll try that.

Iraqis' New Freedom

2004-05-05T01:41:00.000-04:00

If you go to blogger.com where my post is hosted, you'll see this:

USA Today Iraqis enjoy new freedom of expression: "'We suffered for years under Saddam Hussein, not being able to speak out,' says Omar Fadhil, 24, a dentist. 'Now, you can make your voice heard around the world.'" You said it Omar. That's pretty much our whole thing.

Actually, some of the blogs look very interesting. There are a lot of first hand accounts about life in Iraq now. It's almost enough to make a country forget about anal rape and electrical shocks to the scrotum.

We're Losing Our Tech Edge

2004-05-03T17:53:00.000-04:00

See, I keep saying it. In the prophetical words of Martin Short, "We're as doomed as doomed can be." It isn't that bleak, but the US is definately on the decline in technology. I don't know if you've looked around the campus of an American engineering college, but you'll notice that there are usually more foreigners than Americans.

I keep going back to this, but this is the real long term outsourcing threat. There is another good article in NY times about outsourcing our brains or at least decresing the extent to which we develop our technical brains.

We'll always need doctors, lawyers, realtors, funeral homes and grocery stores. If you work in any of those areas, you'll okay. If not, well, learn Hindi.

Finally, A Technology Company With Some Balls

2004-04-30T12:41:00.000-04:00

In the NyTimes today there is a good article about Google's IPO. Google intends to keep investors and board members at bay and not let quarterly earning drive cost cutting measures at the expense of long term investments in technology and strategey. This attitude was best summed up in the following comments:

"A management team distracted by a series of short-term targets is as pointless as a dieter stepping on a scale every half-hour," Larry Page, one of Google's co-founders, wrote in a "Letter From the Founders." The letter, which appeared at the front of the statement, was signed by Mr. Page and his fellow founder, Sergey Brin.

Neil Barsky, a former analyst for Morgan Stanley who runs a hedge fund in New York, said Google's attitude was refreshing and candid

"There is a slavishness that companies feel that they have to play to Wall Street quarter in and quarter out, and that is not the way the real world works," Mr. Barsky said. "They're saying, 'Merely because we go public and because analysts will feel the need to comment on every quarter does not mean that we will manage our business for short-term pressures.' I agree to that 100 percent. That's the right way to run a business."

I think the short sightedness and focus on quarterl profits we have adopted from the market boon of the 90's is a bigger threat than outsourcing. The profiability of US companies has largely been the result of long term investments in technology. Just think where the US would be, if the government had not invested so much into developing an "internet"? But, the continued decrease in federal spending on research (as a % of GDP), lack of research spending by corporations and continued cost cutting measures by thes companies only serves the short term while undercutting the core competencies that make those companies so profitabel over the long-term. The increasing trend to outsource these activities to other coutnries and universities is scary. What happens to the industries in a country when all of the brain power is located elsewhere?

Rules of Engagement

2004-04-30T01:15:00.000-04:00

I think there are certain rules that should be posted in public places. These are rules that everyone knows exists, call them social norms, but if they are violated noone has any authority to criticize the violatee. That's becuase the rules aren't posted anywere. I'll start with bathroom etiquette in public restrooms. I can only speak for the men's room, and ladies, this might be very foreign to you, becuase you probably don't understand the interworkings in the bathroom. I know I sure as hell have no idea of what goes on the ladies room; you all go in at the same time and I hear there are couches in there. The couch thing really throws me off. I think it is suppossed to. A couch in the men's room would reak of piss within days. We also post graffiti messages on the stalls of the shitter. It is sort of a crude form of blog, I guess. There are only a few varieties, but they all involve cursing. I've categorized them and provided examples.

1. So and so is slut, a whore, has good snatch etc.
Example: Jamie Bly is a big stinking whore.

2. For a good time
Example: For a good time, call Jame Bly (412 608 7883). By the way that's my number. My name isn't Jamie Bly, but I like to have a good time. However, it's not the same sort of good time I think Jamie Bly is offering, unless Uno and soda is your idea of a good time. It's mine!

3. I hate (insert racial slur here)
Example: Well you get the idea. It usually isn't about the Irish or the French (except in the Oval Office bathroom. I hear George Bush wrote, "Jacuqes Chirac is cheese-eating surrender monkey", before he visited Bush. Bush tried to pass it off on Powell.

4. So and so is a big fag, I hate fags
There is a lot of hatred of homesexual and other races in public bathrooms. I'm not sure if that is a reflection of what shitting can do to you or a reflection of me and the bathrooms I chose to frequent. Apparently, only the angry or sexually frustrated write in the stalls. It is becuse of these angry few that we can't have couches in the men's room. Bastards have to ruin it for the rest of us.

Anyway, I was going to review the rule sof engagement in the bathroom. This is important, becuase I think there are a lot of men out there who also don't understand the rules. Just remember, before going in the bathroom that we may be friends out here in the outside world. But, in there, we're all just casual aquaintences. So let's keep it on a professional level. Here are the rules I've come up with to facilitate this:

Rule 1: Keep eye contact to a minimum while at the urinal. Staring straight at the wall is preferred. I really like it when they post newspapers in restaurants. It really takes away the awkwardness, and I don't have to pretend like I'm clearing my throat or that I like to whistle.

Rule 2: If you must make eye contact, keep the eyes above the belt. (It's okay to look out of your periphery. We all do it, becuase we want to know how we rank. But, let's keep a "don't ask don't tell policy" abou this.)

Rule 3: If you must make conversation, keep it simple. No long stories that involve hand gestures and reanactment. Remember, we're pissing here. I don't want a lot of wild hand waving and bouncing up and down. You can tell me the story afterward.

Rule 4: Only pee in the toilet if no urinal is open, and only if it is an emergency. This is the most important rule, so I'll say it again. Don't piss in the toilet, unless it is the only possible alternative. The sink would even be preferable. I work with guys that will bypass all the empty urinals to piss in the toilet. That's bullshit and it needs to be addressed. I don't know what they are thinking, but I want to send out an office memo.

Rule 5: Masturbating. This is a tricky one. Okay, again, we'll stick with a don't ask don't tell policy. I empathize, and I know that sometimes it is a must. But, I think there should always be an abort mission policy anytime someone else comes into the room.

Rule 6: Glory holes. I'm not really sure the etiquette here. Any suggestions?

I think the grocery store is next.

Iraq Gets New Flag & Team Mascot

2004-04-28T00:01:00.000-04:00

The new Iraqi flag was suppossed to symbolize the start of a new beginning and new country. However, the flag, when introduced yesterday was recieved with mixed emotions. Some of the Iraqi peole did not like it, while others simply hated it. The previous Iraqi flag predated Saddam and, like the flags of almost every other Arab-dominated nation, had always featured variations on green, gold, black and red. The new Iraqi flag, however, is light blue, like Israel's, and not red green and black, like the other Arab countries.

"When I saw it in the newspaper, I felt very sad," said Muthana Khalil, 50, a supermarket owner in Saadoun, a commercial area in central Baghdad. "The flags of other Arab countries are red and green and black. Why did they put in these colors that are the same as Israel? Why was the public opinion not consulted? I don't have any work, and this is what they are busy doing? Those worthless bastards. They will pay for this, they will pay."

To a large extent, however, public objections to the new flag seem to be intertwined with broader unhappiness with the 25-member Governing Council, which many Iraqis closely identify with U.S. interests.

In an effort to further alienate the Iraqi people and draw greater division, the Governing Council introduced the Iraqi people to the new mascot for the country, Petro. Petro as descirbed by Hamid Kifaie, spokesperson for the governing council, as "a Jew-loving oil derek". Petro, is a caricature of a smiling oil derek dressed with an uncle same blue suit, white goatee and red, white and blue tophat.

"We thought Petro would really capture the imagination and democratic spirit of the newly liberated Iraqi people." Added Kifaie, "He's so cute and when you squeeze or he gets excited, he shoots oil (straight into american owned oil trucks)."

Michael O'Hanlon, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution commented, "Although, Saddam took some creative libery to change the Iraqi flag, the basic theme remained constant. There really was no need to change it, and most of the Iraqi people readily identified it with. It seemse like one of the only things they shouldn't have changed. Now with this mascot? I really don't know what the fuck the interim council was thinking. First the flag and now this. Jesus Christ. I'm not really sure what it is they even do?"

Increasing criticism and a belief that the council has "done nothing for the Iraqi people", has led a recent proposal by Lakhdar Brahimi, the U.N. special representative to Iraq. The proposal calls for the council to be scrapped and replaced by what he described in an interview Friday as a government composed of technocrats who are "acceptable to the Iraqi people." He said the United Nations would insist on qualities of "credibility, honesty and expertise" but also seek a balance among major ethnic and religious groups.

Records Bring to Question Kerry's 3 Purple Hearts

2004-04-27T23:53:00.000-04:00

In attempt to redirect attention from his lackluster military service, Bush has put his minions of smear into high gear by calling to question Kerry's war records. Everyone knows Bush was spending that time snorting coke off of the ass of a trailer park hooker named Deborah in Alabama, while Kerry was in Vietnam. This recent attack is questioning the extent of Kerry's wounds, claiming he possibly didn't deserve his purple hearts. Kerry's recently released military records disprove this, see the transcript below of the purple hear that has been called into question.

Kerry was in the shit in the Mekong delta face to face with Charley. They were both out of ammuntion and it resorted to hand to hand combat.

Kerry: Prepare to die Charley.

Charlie: (taken aback) What?

Kerry: You're not going to get across this bridge, die Charlie.

Charlie: I have no quarrel with you, good sir knight, but I must cross this bridge.

Kerry: THEN YOU SHALL DIE.

Charlie: I command you, to stand aside.

Kerry: I MOVE FOR NO MAN.

Charlie: So be it! (draws sword)

(A short battle ensues, where Charlie, relatively unencumbered by armor, easily dodges the slow and heavy strikes by the Kerry. Finally, Charlie dodges a strike, steps aside, and cuts the Kerry's left arm off with his sword. Blood spurts from the his open shoulder.)

Charlie: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.

Kerry: 'Tis but a scratch.

Charlie: A SCRATCH? Your arm's off!

Kerry: No it isn't!

Charlie: Well what's that then? (pointing to the arm lying on the ground)

Kerry: I've had worse.

Charlie: You LIAR!

Kerry: Come on, you pansy!

(There follows an even shorter foray, at the end of which Charlie easily cuts off the Kerry's right arm, causing it and the Kerry's sword to drop to the ground. Blood spatters freely from the stump.)

Charlie: Victory is mine! (kneeling, praying) We thank thee Lord, that in thy mercy--

(He is kicked onto his side by the Kerry.)

Kerry: Come on, then! (kicks Charlie again)

Charlie: (on the ground) What?!?

Kerry: (kicking him again) Have at you!

Charlie: (getting up) You are indeed brave, sir knight, but the fight is mine!

Kerry: Ohhh, had enough, eh?

Charlie: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left!

Kerry: Yes I have!

Charlie: LOOK!!!

Kerry: Just a flesh wound! (kicking Charlie again)

Charlie: Look, STOP that!

Kerry: Chicken!! Chicken!!!

Charlie: Look, I'll have your leg!

(The Kerry continues his kicking)

Charlie: RIGHT! (He chops off the Kerry's leg with his sword)

Kerry: (hopping) Right! I'll do you for that!

Charlie: You'll WHAT?

Kerry: Come 'ere!

Charlie: (tiring of this) What're you going to do, bleed on me?

Kerry: I'm INVINCIBLE!!

Charlie: You're a looney...

Kerry: The Kerry ALWAYS TRIUMPHS! Have at you!! (hopping around, trying to kick Charlie with his one remaining leg)

(Charlie shrugs his shoulders and, with a mighty swing, removes the Kerry's last limb. The Knight falls to the ground. He looks about, realizing he can't move.)

Kerry: Okay, we'll call it a draw.

Charlie: Come, Pasty! (they "ride" away)

Kerry: (calling after them) Oh! Had enough, eh? Come back and take what's coming to you, you yellow bastards!! Come back here and take what's coming to you!! I'll bite your legs off!

Bush Supports Senate Incumbent Over Other More Conservative Candidate

2004-04-21T00:34:00.000-04:00

In what was a very busy few days for Pittsburgh, President Bush visited Pittsburgh this week to give his support for Republican Arlen Specter in his bid to win reelection to the Pennsylvania state senate. Bush's visit capped off the national NRA convention this past weekend and a stop off by Kerry last Friday. Oddly, Bush is helping to defeat the conservative candidate in this race, Pat Toomey. Arlen Specter, although a Republican, is publicly criticized by the right for supporting abortion, cloning and not responding so favorably to school vouchers and tax cuts. These stances make Specter very popular in Pennsylvania, and there are many Bush Bashers donating to his campaign, as well. This apparently is a standard position for the Bush adminsitration, to support any Republican incumbent. But, this still makes for strange bedfellows, and it is also causing some unrest among the religious right. It will be interesting to see how Bush fare's in Pennsylvania. After his visit, he he currently has a slight lead over Kerry, but it is small (6 pts). This seems to be par for the other swing states over the last few days.

McDonald's Chairman and Chief Executive Dies

2004-04-19T22:29:00.000-04:00

James R. Cantalupo, chairman and chief executive of the McDonald's Corporation, died this morning in Orlando, Fla., apparently of complications associated with a Big-Mac Attack the company said. He was 60.

Mr. Cantalupo died while attending a global meeting of McDonald's franchisees.

The sentiments and feeling shared by all of McDonalds 400,000 employees worldwide were best captured today by a man who had worked next to Mr. Cantalupo during all 28 years of his career. "Robble robble robble, robble, robble robble", Hamburgler said to all the board today after hearing the tragic news

"Our entire McDonald's system mourns this tragic loss," Mayor McCheese, presiding mayor of playland and a member of the board of directors, said in a statement. "Jim was a brilliant man who brought tremendous leadership, energy and passion to his job of pushing cheap and unhealthy food to people worldwide. His total disregard for the environment and public health set the standard for the industry."

A longtime McDonald's executive, Mr. Cantalupo retired as president and vice chairman at the world's largest restaurant chain in 2001, apparently ending a long and prosperous career. But in December 2002, McDonald's, which was under fire from disgruntled investors, franchisees and board members over declining earnings and erosion in its market share to rivals like Wendy's International, said that Jack M. Greenberg, who succeeded Mr. Cantalupo, would be retiring at the end of the year, and named Mr. Cantalupo to replace him.

This has lead many company insiders to believe that Mr. Cantalupo's death was not the result of a hamburger mishap, but instead a targeted assisination planned by some the company's rivals, most notably the bitch from Wendy's.

Commenting on this story, Mark Kalinowski, a restaurant industry analyst at Smith Barney, wrote in a note to clients this morning. "I wouldn't put it passed that red headed slut. First she bumped off her old man, and now this. She'll stop at nothing, nothing."

Mr. Cantalupo joined McDonald's in 1974 after working at Arthur Young & Company. He was named a vice president in 1975 and senior vice president in 1981. In 1987, he was appointed president of McDonald's International and president and chief executive of the corporation in 1991.

Outsourcing, outsourcing outsourcing

2004-04-19T17:57:00.000-04:00

If I had my druthers, I would outsource the whole lot of you for Mexican laborers, partly out of spite.- me talking to my children.

Outsourcing is a topic near and dear to my heart, becuase I know full well that my job will be outsourced to India, most likely, within 5 - 10 years. I also know the need for this. My father is expanding his manufacturing operations to China. I asked how he felt about that. He told me that no major bank would talk about loaning him millions of dollars for expanding his business without a plan for opening operations in Asia. His hands were tied; he would likely be fired if he didn't outsource to Asia. The next guy in his roost would certinaly move in that direction. There are also many good arguments for outsourcing, many of which boil down to a claim that in all reality more jobs would be created. Essentially, we would replace less desireable jobs with better paying jobs, and the ability to outsource allows for Americans to afford more, thereby improving the overall standard of living. There are also many social and moral arguments for not doing this, and there are also many good arguments to dispel many of those arguments. An article in the Atlantic Monthly (sorry no link or reference) last year showed that the areas of Asia that welcomed western investment now have better wages on average and the working conditions are better than those countries who turned their back. Yes, that's quite an assertion to make without hard proof, and I apologize again for missing the referece. Also, the fear that there will be a mass exodus of jobs from the US, particularly, in tech-heavy programming jobs seems to be somewhat overhyped. But article after article have shown that many more jobs are created by the savings that result. There was even the entrepneur who came up with the, "My job was outsourced to India" T-shirt and made millions. Here is the excerpt from the NY times:

Yamini Narayanan is an Indian-born 35-year-old with a Ph.D. in economics from the University of Oklahoma. After graduation, she worked for a U.S. computer company in Virginia and recently moved back to Bangalore with her husband to be closer to family. When I asked her how she felt about the outsourcing of jobs from her adopted country, America, to her native country, India, she responded with a revealing story:

"I just read about a guy in America who lost his job to India and he made a T-shirt that said, `I lost my job to India and all I got was this [lousy] T-shirt.' And he made all kinds of money." Only in America, she said, shaking her head, would someone figure out how to profit from his own unemployment. And that, she insisted, was the reason America need not fear outsourcing to India: America is so much more innovative a place than any other country.

All of these stories add up to the fact that

White House Considering New Director of National Intelligence

2004-04-16T12:25:00.000-04:00

The new post would give one person the responsibility for general management and monetary control for all intelligence agencies. This position would also provide a focal point for and SPA for all 15 (Yes that's right 15) national intelligence agencies. Let's play a game here, how many can you name: CIA, FBI um er NSA, ohh shoot it's on the tip of my tongue . . .um. Those other 12 are so elusive. Actually, the FBI isn't even an intelligence gathering agency, but more of a policing agency.

Okay, that's fine, but now I'm totally confused. What was the point of the Department of Homeland Security? The FBI is also considering creating a new position within the organization to oversee the gathering of all domestic intelligence. That makes sense, if that's what you want the FBI to do, but why not let the other 14 agencies worry about that, and let the FBI stick to policing. This really sounds like more window dressing to appease the American public in light of the recommendations that are likely to come from the 9/11 hearings. Those findings, basically point to the fact that there is no sharing of information and coordination of efforts. Well no shit. If you have 15 agencies all competing for the same piece of pie, there really is no incentive to share. That will simply put you out of a job. In my mind this is a bunch of actions to change perception with no meaning or value. But I could be wrong. It just seems to me that the best way to eliminate bureaucracy is not to create another level of bureaucracy.

The West vs. Muslims

2004-04-15T14:23:00.000-04:00

I've been swamped with work, and I haven't had much time to follow news this week. But, I watched the press conference on Tuesday. I haven't ready any of the reviews, but my initial take was this. His canned speech was okay, he's become a respectable public speaker, but his answers to his questions were terrible. I could empathize, because that's how I sound when I'm giving a presentation about something I haven't put any or much thought into. In those situation, I know what I want the audience to think, but haven't put the forethought in to properly convey that message to them or to myself. However, on issues of national security and the future of our country, I would make sure I understand the arguments I'm putting forward. When this has happened to me, I was embarrassed and so should Bush.

Here is what I got from the question from the media:

News guy: "Mr. President Richard Clarke apologized for failing to stop Sep. 11, blah, blah do you fell you owe the American people an apology and are you willing to give them one?"

Bush: "Babies, liberty, war is tough, I like steak, liberty, freedom and hell no you are not going to get an apology" I was astounded.

News guy: "You painted a rosy picture of the war, the number of troops that would be required, the cost of the war and the threat posed by Iraq (e.g. no WMD's have been found). How do you account for this?"

Bush: Babies, Iraq is free, I love America, war is tough, Sadam was evil, did you see me through out the 1st pitch, freedom and I love babies"

Also, the announcement that came out yesterday about the West Bank and Gaza strip. I heard that last night at midnight. I haven't talked to anyone about it, but it scared the shit out of me. Maybe I was delirious from 14 hrs work, but I really imagined a terrible terrible war for the first time, and I got a cold chill. Also, if you noticed in the speech he said that the war basically came down to "them wanting to kill Jews and Christians". Conspicuously missing from that list were Muslims. I can only assume that "them" is terrorists or Muslim extremists, but the omission of Muslims from the first list kind of draws a dividing line. I know, I'm taking that quote out of context, but really that is the meaning I derived. I'm really scared that there is now an actual line being drawn between the western world and Muslims. I don't know if it is deliberate or that is how the administration really feels, but it really really scares me. I think Osame miscalculated the world's response to the attack on 9/11 and didn't expect the outpour of support for the US. September 11 put Osama and Muslim extremists on the defensive, but Bush's actions have now made him a hero again. Never could I have imagined the tables would have been turned like this. Bush squandered his opportunity, and now Osama's plan for a War of the West and Muslims might become a reality.

From the Department of People Who Have Their Head up Their Asses

2004-04-13T09:14:00.000-04:00

Bush is loosing his foothold a little, and is seen to be slipping in the polls. Although, head-to-head polls of candidates are considered unreliable this early in a campaign, even some Republicans noted that the Newsweek poll put Mr. Kerry ahead of Mr. Bush, 50 percent to 43 percent. Several pollsters suggested that Mr. Bush's early round of advertisements had encountered some unexpected competition in the form of external events.

"My own personal view is that paid media in a presidential campaign, especially early, is overrated," said Andrew Kohut, director of the Pew Research Center. "People look more to events and real-world happenings to form opinions than they do to paid media. I think it's people sticking their head out the door and saying, `How are things?' And things haven't been good for Bush." Mr. Kout continued, "I also think that people never really believed the government and media in the 30's and 40's when they claimed that smoking had no deleterious health effects. They were able to make up their minds for themselves, not what the government told them. Dido on the government's invovlement in Afghanistan and Iran in the 80's. The American people knew better."

Kerry is A Lucky Bastard

2004-04-13T09:06:00.000-04:00

It looks like Kerry may actually win this election, although it is much to early to predict. But, if he does, he should get down and kiss Richard Clarke's ass. With all of the focus that Richard Clarke's testimony has brought to the 9/11 hearings, many of the missteps and errors prior to 9/11 have been magnified by the media. Although, it is not fair to put all of the blame on the Bush adminstration, and admittedly 9/11 would have been difficult to prevent. Nonetheless, the heightened scrutiny over 9/11 now has people questionioning our involvment in Iraq and many ofthe other Bush foreign policies. Certainly, some of this would have happened with time as more and more Americans die each day, but Richard Clarke deserves much of the credit for the paradoxical shift seen by the media and the American people. Long life American Bandstand.

Have You Watched TV Lately, Holy Shit.

2004-04-12T23:56:00.000-04:00

If you watch any of the major news networks, listen to NPR or read any large newspaper there is constantly a battle back and fourth in the media between who controls the news media; the liberal or the Bushies. Each side claiming the other is controlling the media, blah, blah, blah. I've seen very good arguments for making either case. Yes, most news sources tend to be a little to the left or to the right. However, I think that they are all basically covering the same news and events with a slightly different slant. Sometimes there are aggregious oversimplifications of the truth and even grand distortions. But, for the most part they stick to the story. This, however, doesn't inlcude on-air peronalities with shows with names like The Ultimate Truth Seekers of God. They're all a bunch of lying cocksuckers, except Al Franken. He's too funny and cute to hate.

But, what I'm talking about here are news correspondents. If, you watch or listen to any major news source you have a pretty good idea of what's going on. You're also left with an unmistakeable impression that the world is fucked up, and it's all about sorting out who is at fault. Is it the right or the left?

Now I propose a little experiment. Only read newspapers, listen to news on the radio and watch only CNN, MSNBC and Fox for about 1 month. You can't even watch commercials, they're particularly bad. Better yet don't watch any TV at all. After 1 month turn on the TV and watch only primetime on the major networks, Oprah, E! and the WB. Whatever you do, don't follow any news stories. After 3 days, you'll forget about ol' whats-his-face who wants to eat your children and steal your money. It's really amazing. It's like living in a world of make believe, where gum drops fall from the sky, the roads are paved with chocolate and little faires fly around handing out money. By contrast, prime time TV tends to make all news look about the same, and it really makes watching the news quite a drag. Well, of courese, except for the C-span the original reality TV show.

In fact, recent finding are proving there to be a link between TV and political apathy. After only a few days of watching TV, the brain begins to function differently. A recent study conducted by the Institue of Media and Cognitive Behavior at Princeton proved this. A similar experiment to the one I propsed was run, and the findings were quite remarkeable. After only 24 hours of watching reruns of Malcom in the Middle, Dharma and Greg and the OP, 80% of the subjects in the study had trouble locating many of the most basic countries in the Middle East and Southeastern Asia. When asked about the president, commonly a response of "Ohh that buffoon, he's so full of hot air. Him and all his washington big wigs, I'm sick of them" or some variant there of. When asked to point out specific reasons for their beliefs, the subjects looked confused and irritated, citing "Well you know, I mean come on, have you seen the news lately". When asked about additonal topics ranging from the war in Iraq and pollution, the subjects often looked disengaged and only giving answers like, "I don't know, I mean it's complicated, becuase on the one hand you got, . . .hey Friends is on?"

Not only did extended exposure to prime time telivision effect the subjects' beahvior, but it was found to actually alter the chemical functions in and physiology of the brain. MRI scans of the brain showed a marked decrease in brain activity in the portion of the brain that controls crtical thinking and logic in most of the participants. Unexpectedly, the same MRI scans showed the region of the brain that controls lust, jealousy and the desire to eat fried foods actually grew in size.

The conclusions from this and many similar such studies found the lack of outrage towards the Bushies and their cavalier and blatant disregard for the judgement of the American public is not a result of crafty politics. But, morever it is due to the anesthetitizing effects of TV on the brain. The Bushies knew they could get away with it, and therefore no reason to provide anything but cursory justificaton for shady deals with Haliburton, tax cuts for the rich or the war in Iraq. So who gives a shit about Iraq, when there's Queer Eye. Sometimes we get what we deserve.

Rice CPU Crashes During 9/11 Panel Hearing

2004-04-12T02:26:00.000-04:00

Ms. Rice's appearance before the commission investigating the Sept. 11, 2001 marked the most anticipated and highly publicized event during the hearings. Everyone in the coutnry was watching. Her voice echoed through hospital patients' rooms as doctors made their rounds and hotel rooms as maids made theirs, through coffee shops on college campuses and lounges in group homes.

Under often harsh questioning from Democratic members of the panel, Ms. Rice dismissed the importance of the still-classified August 2001 report that had been prepared by the Central Intelligence Agency, describing it as "historical information based on old reporting — there was no new threat information." Her testiomony was also classifed by many, asrepetitive, particularly her frequent use of the terms like "structural problem" and "negatory" in her answers. At times it appeard that she had rehearsed her answers or was even reading a script. The most peculiar turn of events came about towards the end of questioning, when Senator Wade from Florida kept pushing her harder about the FBI memo released in May 2001. Eventually, Dr. Rice began nodding her repatitively in a robotic motion answering, "does not compute, does not compute, must self-destruct" while steam billowed from her ears until she laid motionless.

A senior white house staffter gave a fromal briefing to the pressing stating that "XJ487, I mean Dr. Rice experiencing a minor glitch in her retort program, I mean was under a lot of stress." He continued, "I'm sure she'll be fine tomorrow"

Some said she did little to rebut accusations by Richard A. Clarke, President Bush's former counterterrorism chief, who told the commission last month that Ms. Rice had largely ignored terrorist threats before 9/11.

Bush Never Formally Warned (Invited) to 9/11 Attack

2004-04-12T01:44:00.000-04:00

In response to the criticizism the Bush admistration has recieved since the Richard Clarke testimony, Presdient Bush has finally spoken on record. His remarks echoed those made by Condy Rice during her 9/11 panel hearings, not mention those made by every other cog in the Bush machine.

Bush went on record as saying, that "I am satisfied that I never saw any intelligence that indicated there was going to be an attack on America — at a time and a place, an attack," Mr. Bush said after attending Easter services in Fort Hood, Tex. He contiued, "In addition, there were never any formal invitations to attend or participate in an attack sent to me by Mr. Bid Laden. Not even a phone call, email or even an instant message with one of them cute upside-down smiley face thingies. Of course we knew that America was hated by Osama bin Laden. That was obvious. The question was, who was going to attack us, when and where, and with what. I had fifty it was going to be Professor Plum in the Library with a Candlestick. But, whoah, a bunch Arabs flying planes into the World Trade Center. Who'd a thunk it"

Dick Chaney said that Mr. Bush was fully aware that in the summer of 2001 that the Federal Bureau of Investigation was looking into domestic terrorist threats, but when pressed on the issue Mr. Bush replied "Yeah, that makes sense, to have some federal bureau to investigate these sort of things. If we would have had that, maybe we would have nabbed the little buggers. I mean if there had been some sort a report from a federal investigating agency maybe we would have known"

When asked about the Aug. 6 FBI report to Mr. Bush that was released Saturday evening, which was titled "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.", which cited evidence of active Qaeda cells in the United States, as well as reports that members of the terrorist organization had conducted recent surveillance of a federal building in Manhattan and could be preparing to stage hijackings. Presdent Bush replied, "The federal who of what. Ohhhh those guys, right. I mean, NY is one big sucker with all kinds of tall buildings., and lots of sites to attack. And they got the Yankees, and that A-rod, man we sure hated to see him leave Texas to go the Yankees, but the dude can flat out play."

Dick Chaney later commented that, "in the future, a formal warning from Al Queda would be really appreciated", because as it it turns out "the CIA is really really good at toppling rogue governments and propping up hapless dictators, but not so good at that whole intelligence gather thing".

Why Everyone Hates Duke and George Bush

2004-04-06T13:55:00.000-04:00

There are obvious reasons to hate George Bush: he lies, arguably he is incompetent, he comes from a privileged background, and he directs policies to increase his privileged-ness-itude. He is also very arrogant, which is too complex to fully characterize here. But, to simplify let's just say he has a general smugness about him when he gives a public address that makes you want to smack him. We won't even consider the fact that he takes only his preconceived ideas into consideration when forming policies, thereby dismissing any suggestions anyone or any other country or body of countries might have as unpatriotic. Please remember, these are not my opinions, I am simply expressing the opinions of those who do not like George Bush (people like me, but not necessarily me). Additionally, any comparisons or parallels you might make between the Bushies and the Dukies are purely coincidental. I am just trying illustrate a point, and I certainly don't want this to be a political argument. I'm trying to stay out of the fray.

Now let's look at the reasons to hate Duke and Coach K-shashevski. I took these from the NJ Star Ledger in an article written by Steve Polti March 31. I won't go through the whole article, just the hightlights:

1. They're Smug
An MSNBC article claims that Duke carries themselves in a "We don't talk trash" kind of manner. Imagine if a president carried himself like that. You might want to smack him. I know I would. Just imagine a president that labeled entire countries and cultures as "evil-one's" or something similar, and justified these conclusions with biblical intonations. That president would then likely say that he and his country would take the high road and do what is right. That would be very Duke-esque, and I bet it would likely upset a lot of people.

2. They are perceived to be a bunch of "Choir Boys"
But, certainly they are not a bunch of choir boys. I won't bring up the Laettner incident, okay I will. Just look at the Laettner incident. This sort of hypocrisy would be like, well imagine for a minute that you disagreed with the policies of your country. You felt that they pursued their policies through subversion and were finding every loophole imaginable to circumvent the democratic process. You disagreed with this and you called bullshit. For doing that, your government labeled you as unpatriotic. That sort of thing could happen, theoretically. You might have your favorite example you would like to add.

3. Coach K whines and gets favorable calls
I would equate that to an administration that stacked the courts, the cabinet and appointed undersecretaries that were cronies and friends to achieve predetermined positions and objectives. Then if the disered outcome wasn't achieved (or their motives brought into question), they would likely try to ruin that person with a smear campaign. There is no way that could happen, so we'll move on.

4. Cameron Crazies
They're labeled as a bunch kids that act like jack-asses, because they can get away with it. I'm drawing a blank here for some parallels. Maybe some help.

5. Too much success
Everyone hates a winner. Maybe that's why everyone (other countries) are turning their noses up at us right now.

By the way, is it illegal to inimate that you would smack the president?

Everyone Hates Duke and Geroge Bush Part II

2004-04-06T13:13:00.000-04:00

As expected, it was a very uneventful national championship. I tried to gather the participants of our office NCAA pool to go watch the game last night, but no one wanted to go. Watching the final game together had become an annual tradition since '98, but alas U Conn and Georgia Tech was just not an intriguing matchup. However, two people told me that if Duke were playing they would have come watch the game, solely to cheer for their demise. One worker said, "I would have gone just to scream and yell at Duke every time they scored or Coach K whined for a call." But Duke wasn't there, so that didn't happen and I did my taxes last night.

As I said previously, Kerry and U Conn are in a similar position right now. Everyone is rallying behind Kerry, becuase it is believed that he has the best shot at beating Bush. However, if Kerry wins the election, but he can't get anyone to watch the game with him on Monday he could be in trouble. U Conn doesn't care if anyone cheers for them now, they just won the national championship and there are no more games. NCAA basketball has no worries, becuase there will be a brand new season next year with all new participants. But Kerry on the other hand, if he wins the election, his season is just starting. He still needs fans to come support him and his policies. So for the sake of all that is wholly, I hope that the same people who are bolstering Kerry now will still be there after the election if he wins. If not, the Democratic party will be guilty of propping up an unispiring candidate, simply to beat the Bushies, which might hurt the Democrats over the long haul. A bad Democratic candidate might be discredit the party and give further strength to the Republican machine. Thereby, making it even easier for Jeb Bush to win in 2008.

This, I believe, is the problem with cheering for someone to lose, as oppossed to genuinely cheering for that person's opponent to win. Your heart is never really in it, and it is difficult to sustain. As a rule, I don't think this is very good for politics or sportsmanship alike, but admittedly I also am guilty of this. I just hope we don't go looking for Howard Dean three months after the election. Remember, we thought he was a lose cannon, so we let him get beat by UAB in the second round.

Everyone Hates Duke & George Bush

2004-04-04T23:05:00.000-04:00

Watching the Men's NCAA Final Four basketball games, I was a little surprised by how much people really really hate Duke and Coach Krzyzewski. Everyone watching the game was so happy when Duke lost. You have to remember that we are talking about University of Kentucky basketball fans here, and they take their college basketball very seriously. And although it was 12 years ago, the last second Christian Laettner shot against Kentucky in 1992 is still a fresh wound. Even still, the extent of the hatred was a bit surprising to me. Eddie Sutton, the former university of Kentucky basketball coach that was fired for recruiting violations that ultimately lead to NCAA sanctions against UK, received less ire than Coach K. But this isn't just a KY thing. Type in "I hate Duke" into a search engine, you'll be surprised. There is even a "Duke-Sucks.com" web page. Duke hating is universal, well that is except for Duke fans. But there doesn't seem to be a middle ground on this topic.

After Duke lost everyone was even high-fiving each other as though it were a KY win. I think there should be a name for this; cheering for one team, because you hate the other team so much. I think it is similar to fantasizing that the next time you see your ex, he or she is fat and hopeless and you are with a hottie. The driving force is basically hate-based, and it's very different than rooting for the underdog. When you cheer for the underdog, there is a sincere and genuine hope that the underdog plays well, and you adopt that team, even if temporarily. It seems to be a positive driving force.

I think most everyone does it, and I often catch myself watching game just to root against a team. I have it particularly bad for the Lakers. However, I've noticed that this sort of a victory is ethereal and not very satisfying afterward. There is nothing to sustain your excitement afterward, because you don't really give a shit about the winner, your just happy Duke lost. I have the same fear for Kerry in the upcoming election. The same people that were cheering for U Conn on Saturday, also hate Bush (even more than they hate Duke). The hatred for Bush has solidified the Democratic party, and everyone is rallying around Kerry just to see Bush lose. But, just as no one really cares how Calhoun and Okafor are gong to make out on Monday night, the same could happen for Kerry if he wins. Rallying behind a candidate, just to see the other lose has some pitfalls, which I'll cover tomorrow.

Gays should be allowed to marry - just not to one another

2004-03-31T01:26:00.000-05:00

It is ludicrious to deny gays the same right that us regular Americans have by disallowing gay marriages. This infringes on their right to the pursuit of happiness, which that itself is unconstitutional. They pay taxes, they go to work and now we won't let the marry. I say phoey to that, Mr. Bush. Besides, gays have been getting married for years. I know several of the married men that go to my gym are gay. They all hang together and gossip in the stream room together. It's so totally obvious what's going on, you can ask my girlfriend Janet if you don't believe me. And, this isn't an isolated incident. I also witnessed this when I lived in NYC. My loft overlooked an abondoned warhouse in Chelsea. The warehouse was home for transvestities and male prostitutes alike, and about 75% of their clientel were from the subarbs. Every Friday there would be a train of conservative looking white guys showing up in Volvo's and BMW's. They were obviously married, and I think this highlights another reason to continue to let gays marry. It keeps them from living in warehouses and giving oral sex for $20. If Bush had any brains he would encourage gays to marry, then these same people living in the warehouses could also drive Volvo's and work at an investment banking firm. Instead, he will be forcing them down this deep dark path. Do you see the price we will pay, if we don't continue to allow gay marriages? I don't think I can ram this point down hard enough. Besides, the only other altertive means to make an honest man out of a homosexual is to throw him in the clergy, and we've seen how that backfired.

I know I sound like some liberal spouting off, but I too have my limits. I don't think homosexuals should be allowed to adopt children and here's why. I don't know too many gay couples who have children, but I have seen a disproportionate amount of lesbian couples with crack babies. As an outside observer the kids seem to get tons of love and the parents are great. I don't think you could ask for more attentive and affectionate parents. But, I still don't think that excuses them from giving crack to a baby. I mean what kind of a sicko would do that. Besides, I think that just creates an even larger problem. Think about this as if you are a crack head and need money for crack. If you knew that there were some lesbians willing to pay good money for a crack baby, well put 2 and 2 together. It just creates an entire blackmarket for crackbaby adoptions.

So all I'm saying is gay marriage, yes. It will keep them from living in warehouses and giving BJ's for $20.

Gays raising children, not good. It creates too many crack babies.

And these are my talking points.

Don't Fly

2004-03-31T00:29:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to figure out how to get my email link on this page, but I keep inserting an email hyperlink like it is a web page. What's weird is every time I try click on the link my microwave turns on. I'll get it figured out. Did I mention I'm an engineer, and I work on aerospace stuff. Think about that next time you're flying.

Ohhh yeah, Bush is stupid.

Bye

I Love Spin

2004-03-31T00:09:00.000-05:00

Karen Hughes was on the O'Reaily Factor last night. she has decided to help manage the Bush campaign during his reelection push. On the show she kept emphasizing that the most important issue with the american people is homeland security and the war on terrorism.

Everything I've seen says the economy is the top issue with voters. But then again, I'm a liar.

Innovation Lost, the Downfall of U.S. Corporations

2004-03-30T17:36:00.000-05:00

Us companies are losing some business to foreign companies because of cost. However, we are also going to lose even more business, because innovation has been pushed under the mattress and we're sitting on it. I work for a large multinational hemogeny that is, for the most part, a commodity producer. We can't beat foreign companies on price and by cost-cutting alone, so we have to do it by developing differentiated products. The new catch phrase is organic growth from the CEO down to midlevel managers. The idea is to develop new markets by developing new products, i.e. organic growth, as opposed to growing existing markets. This sounds all well and good, and we have the talent and resources to do it, but we lack one main ingredient. This is perhaps the most important ingredient, chutzpahtspah. That's right, we don't have the stomach for it. The company I work for, like many large US manufacturing companies, has three things working against it for real innovation: 1) old capital intensive equipment 2) market short-sightedness and 3) we're just too damn big.

The first problem, the old, cumbersome and capital-intensive equipment, is nothing new. It contributed partly to the downfall of the steel industries. Small, efficient and highly automated micromills in the US are still in business today and doing quite well, whereas their older and larger rolling mills suffered a slow and agonizing death. It's tough being old. You can't move very quickly and adapt to changes. If a customer wants something new and just a little bit of it, well tough pumpkins. You'll get a lot, and pay a lot and like it. This is largely to do with much of the outdated equipment in the US, which is very very expensive to maintain and run. In fact, the company I work for never would have purchased much of the equipment we still use today, had we not gotten a honey of deal tsupportrt support war efforts. But, now we are stuck with these behemoths, which lock us into only supporting only a select few markets. This also keeps companies like mine from venturing into new markets, because the monster must be fed. Our business model is built around that.

The second problem is aversion to risk. But before I begin, I can't emphasis enough the capabilities and talents I see in many of the people I work with and associate with in professional organizations. There are a lot of great ideas and just as many problems solvers to make those ideas a reality. The bullets are there, the gun is there, but executives are too afraid to put the bullets in the gun and pull the trigger for fear of missing their target or worse, shooting themselves in the foot. This mindset is endemic in US business. The fear of risk simply keeps executives from pursuing real innovation. Much of this comes from, in my opinion, the heightened awareness we all have for the stock market. However, profitable the stock market was in the 90's, it now has CEO's, executives and real innovators hand tied. Executives are measured by their quarterly performance, and if they don't make a 15% ROC for a couple of quarters and in a row, and stocks dip; they're out on their asses. Fortunately for them a golden parachute to slow their fall with a bucket of cash at the bottom for extra precaution. However, this climate makes it very difficult for anyone to put their neck on the line and really go for it. Instead, we get a lot of talk about new products and organic growth, but nothing ever materializes, except nifty presentation. The third point, the fact that corporations are just damn big I'll have to touch some other time. But, quite frankly, that is a subject that is too deep to tackle here.

So, tah tah, I have to go now and brush up on my Mandarin, I have an interview next week.

Democrats rally behind guy that isn’t George Bush, Kerry

2004-03-26T12:30:00.000-05:00

I don’t know if you heard Al Gore’s endorsement for Kerry, but it was very strange. First, Al Gore came across as artificially energetic and Dean-esque. I wish I could have seen it, because a short-circuiting robot comes to mind. Those burly yowls don’t seem to come to him naturally like they do with Dean.

But, what I thought was most intriguing was how he started his endorsement. He opened up with a laundry list of prominent democrats who didn’t support Kerry initially, including President Clinton, Jimmy Carter, himself and a few other notable democrats. His point was that Kerry earned this nomination through grit and determination, and he did it alone. It was well intended, but it was a very backhanded comment. I think it highlights a few issues surrounding the Democratic Party and Kerry’s nomination. It really shows how much Democrats hate Bush; so much that they are willing to set aside their agendas and egos to join one another during this push to remove Bush from office. Bush has only himself to blame for that, and it really took a lot of prodding to get the Democrats to come together like this. This never would have happened if Bush had pursued a more moderate path and at least feigned some deference to the common sense and judgment of the American people.

I also think Gore’s support also gives even further credit to Dean for being the first candidate to challenge Bush and admit that he wasn’t happy with administrations policies on the economy and even terrorism. Dean was the front-runner initially, and he chose what was a very unpopular position by conventional wisdom at the time. The other candidates saw how well this was working and followed suit. If it weren’t for Kerry’s perceived “electability”, or more accurately Deans perceived “un-electability” Dean would have gotten he nomination. As a result, I think that Kerry as an individual is lost in all of this, which really weakens his position as a candidate or a leader. The party seems to be propping someone who says the right things and appears to play the role best. This might pose problems as November draws nearer, but I hope I’m wrong.

March Madness Makes Me Crazy

2004-03-24T17:45:00.000-05:00

It's NCAA tournament time, and I've already shitcanned my bracket. Considering KY lost several days ago this posting might be posthumous, but my message still needs to be brought to you, the people. As a result of this tournament I heard the most ignorant and racist sentence I've ever heard. If you went to my highschool, you would understand how serious of claim that is. I grew up with sentences like, "Floyd, if you push me in that dumpster one more time, me and you's gonna ramble". Floyd and Doug were best friends. They always took the trash out together to get out of class for a while and to smoke. Everyday Floyd would convince Doug to carry the huge trash can to the top of the steps overlooking the dumpster, at which time Floyd would push Doug into the dumpster. One day Doug got tired of this, and let Floyd know. Floyd finished 5th in my graduating class. So trust me, I know ignorant shit when I see it.

Anyway, my brother was listening to a call-in radio show from Louisville, KY, and they were discussing the University of KY's chance to advance far into the tournament. This was before KY lost to UAB. Anyway, during the show a KY fan, who was obviously angry, called in and made the following comment about the KY head coach, Orlando "Tubby" Smith:

"Yeah, with [KY basketball fan's] luck, [Tubby] will probably get lucky and win it all this year, and we'll have to keep him for another two years"

You really need to read that again, because it takes a good 10 seconds to fully sink in.

You see what I mean. That is one amazing sentence. I wasn't sure whether to cry or laugh when I heard it. I was more stunned than anything. That sentence will stick with me forever.

Here is my take on the sentence. Firstly, he is, basically, saying that with the rotten luck that KY fans are accustomed to . . .stop.
KY is one of the top 3 "winning"-est programs depending on how you measure ""winning"-est" with Duke and UCLA . . . continue. So I would consider KY fans to be rather lucky over the years.

The listener continues to say that it is likely Tubby will get lucky and KY will win the tournament. Isn't that the whole point. Poor him, his coach gets lucky and wins the whole tournament. Wouldn't that just be awful. And that really is the sort of thing you luck your way into. Never mind the fact that KY received the highest ranking the past two years entering the tournament. Ohh, and by the way, he's already won a national championship. Something most coaches would gladly trade for their left eye.

Now the listener goes on to say, that if Tubby does win it all this year, they would regretablly have no choice but to keep him on staff for another two years. You have to be pretty goddamned racist or crazy to want to fire your coach after he just won the national title. I think if Timothy McVeigh was winning national titles, most people would forget that other incident. Look, "I don't know nothing about blowing up no goddamned buildings. All I know is the boy can coach", is what you might hear.

My point is that I don't think KY deserves Tubby. Sure he did lose early in the tournament this season, and that pissed me off too. But, I don't see where they will get a better coach. Tubby will put another top 5 program together next year, make a run at the title, but there will still be talk of firing him. Maybe if Tubby would win the national title and then shoot an Arab center court he would get his dues.

Just a thought